Page title

WHY

is anxiety here?

WHAT

are the options?

HOW

to stop anxiety?

WHO

can help?

WHEN

are the trainings?

WHY am I anxious?

Anxiety is a feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness. On the most basic level, it's a reaction to stress that is intended to help you focus or provide extra energy to respond appropriately to a stressful situation.

However, if anxiety is constantly present in your life and how you function, even if you're successful at what you set out to do, it can lead to burnout, chronic stress, and a consistent underlying anxiety that doesn't seem to ever go away.

The #1 reason anxiety doesn't go away is because it is embedded into your personality structure itself.

In other words, you unknowingly developed an identity around anxiety because of factors in your environment growing up. We can't effectively heal anxiety without understanding those factors and the components of the personality itself.

However, if anxiety is constantly present in your life and how you function, even if you're successful at what you set out to do, it can lead to burnout, chronic stress, and a consistent underlying anxiety that doesn't seem to ever go away.

The #1 reason anxiety doesn't go away is because it is embedded into your personality structure itself. In other words, you unknowingly developed an identity around anxiety because of factors in your environment growing up. We can't effectively heal anxiety without understanding those factors and the components of the personality itself.

State vs Trait Anxiety

State anxiety refers to anxiety that is dependent on a situation, so once the situation passes, state anxiety passes also. Trait anxiety is anxiety that is part of the personality, which is specifically what the Anxious Personality Framework is designed to address. The purpose of this self-assessment is to discern whether you are experiencing "state anxiety" or "trait anxiety."

Note: This assessment is adapted from the Spielberger State-Trait Anxiety Inventory (STAI) for Adults, developed by Charles D. Spielberger. This shorter version was created by Andras N. Zsido et. al.

Excerpt from The Anxious Personality

Why trait anxiety is deeply embedded into the personality and not just something that can be "quick-fixed."

I was fortunate enough to stumble upon different trainings, roughly in the same span of five to ten years, which would eventually be the building blocks for The Anxious Personality Framework. The first was Nonviolent Communication, a framework created by Marshal Rosenberg that’s centered on non-judgment and the concept that judgment stems from tragically unmet needs. The training I received in Nonviolent Communication showed me that the feeling of anxiety could be tied to a deeply unmet need for something universal and essential in us.

The second was the Enneagram system, which has become mainstream in popular culture, especially in leadership development circles. But it was the teachings of Russ Hudson and Sandra Maitri, pioneers within the Enneagram space, that helped me to understand the distinction between the “fixed, limited personality” and “our true nature.”

The third was The Diamond Approach, a modern spiritual approach that combined psychological and spiritual understanding to realize our true nature. A.H. Almaas, the founder of The Diamond Approach, put forward the “theory of holes” in his teaching, which is a major foundational principle for The Anxious Personality Framework. In short, the theory of holes states that the ego personality develops from a disconnection from an essential part of our true selves, and this disconnection is the primary source of our suffering, which can take the form of anger, despair, envy, hatred, fear, and of course, anxiety.

As a student of The Diamond Approach, I learned a great deal about ego development and what makes up the “ego structure,” or what is widely known as the fixed personality. The personality is how we generally know ourselves. It’s what gives you a sense of self, a sense of “you” versus “me.” While most of us walk around assuming we are the personality, I discovered through my training that the personality is not much more than the sum of the programming and conditioning that we’ve internalized in our life.

Understanding this became the secret key to understanding why despite years of meditation, cognitive behavior therapy, counseling, prayer, positive affirmations, and law of attraction work, I still hadn’t overcome this nagging, sometimes debilitating anxiety. Or why I’d feel better in meditation but the minute I had to ask my boss for time off or share my opinion in a meeting, anxiety would get triggered and I’d feel small, incapable, and sometimes downright terrified.

I discovered that the anxiety itself was embedded in my personality. Without understanding and dismantling my identification with the personality, everything I tried was only temporary relief. In psychological terms, this kind of anxiety is called “trait anxiety.” The American Psychological Association defines as “a proneness to experience anxiety.” In other words, this kind of anxiety is part of the personality and isn’t only experienced in certain situations that are inherently more stressful, such as an interview setting or a high-stakes presentation. That kind of situational anxiety is called “state anxiety.”

Despite years of studying the ego/personality, I had yet to come across any approach that specifically dealt with an anxious personality type, but with my clients, I came to see that there was a specific type of personality structure that oriented itself around anxiety. This is what I eventually called the “Anxious Personality.” Based on my training in the Enneagram and ego development, I realized that there are specific components that make up this kind of personality, and that it had common effects on people who experienced the same kind of chronic trait anxiety that I did.